So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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