Just fell off a train. Bad.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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