I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
