Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
