Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
