I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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