i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I want is dick and wine.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
