Whod you bang
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
