Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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