She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
