I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
