My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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