he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
