How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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