You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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