The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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