i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
