I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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