is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
