bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He passed out mid-signature
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
