I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do vagina's smell?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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