I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Jerry, you need to find god
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
