at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
