8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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