omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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