So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
