just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
