y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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