YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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