Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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