the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
