his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
