why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
