I just cut my nipple shaving
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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