I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
