also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
