I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
