So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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