I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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