he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
