he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
