I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
