Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
