so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
