Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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