shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize