If i come over, it means nothing
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
