I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
