how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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