Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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