11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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