So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
