I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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