ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
