There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
