Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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