Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
