wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
