when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
