so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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