I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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