I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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