im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize